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Thursday, July 2, 2009


I just had a call this morning from Mental Health Nurse. Asking me certain things that might bother me. Stubborn as I am. I didn't reallt wanted to take medication for depression or didn't wanted to get help from anyone that I don't know. I know I should trust someone who is working as the department or some sort, but I don't believe I should talk to someone that I don't know or don't trust.
I just told her and any other people that has been trying to help me, I just want to see doctor for my medical reason and get on with it already.
I don't get alot of time for myself and cry about missing my loved ones or cry for something that is bothering me. I think it's just that I don't trust anyone or just don't want to make time to talk to someone about what is bothering me or might eat me out. I guess you can say I am one of those that take care of other people and not themselves. I have been taking care of my family so long that I don't think I can take care of myself, or know how to take care of myself. It's either get me outta here or get a job somewhere else and I can take care of myself, in order to learn what is out there for me.
Anyway, taking one day at a time to chill and learn to take it one step closer to where it takes me.


Meetie was my best friend that past away last year. She and I were very close growing up. We did everything from taking gas from dad or dads' to playing outside and just hang out.
She was one of the bestest of best friend that understood me inside out. We went through alot from losing loved ones to having problem with boyfriends. Meetie and I were always together no matter what. She was great sister/mother and best friend that is much loved and missed very much.
Also, when she got really sick, I was down in Ottawa on my summer holiday while was in Hospital with her treatment. I couldn't go see her because I am not family. I was just a friend to her. Her brother who was with her in a hospital tried everything to get me to see her. but the doctor and nurses didn't wanted me to see her. So wanted to see her before her last breathe when she got really sick.
Missed you Meetie very much and love you very much!